17 Apr What’s Your Story: Are You a Victim?
In the last two blogs, I described the lives of the Navigator & Survivor. In today’s post, it’s time to take a look at the Victim’s lifestyle.
Victims usually think they “can’t” win. They live in a world of unfairness, helplessness and low self-efficacy. Because they experience themselves as powerless, Victims tend to face obstacles with passivity and an attitude of “why bother?” They sigh and throw up their hands in surrender. Their conversations are marked by statements such as, “No one really cares,” “There’s nothing I can do about it,” and “This always happens to me.” A Victim is deceived and cheated by his own emotions and ignorance.
In the world of the Victim, there isn’t much room for creativity or discovery. Most Victims crave the safety of predictability, habit, and ritual. Change tends to be frightening, and portends near certain failure. Victims may be afraid to move to a new city, take a new job, or seek a more rewarding relationship because they don’t believe they can create anything better than their current situations. They may fail to speak up or voice a different opinion at a staff meeting, or resist investing in a new business venture. In many cases, the Victim is not aware of his or her attachment to the status quo. They are not aware of the internal fear and inertia that profoundly affect the quality of their lives.
Jim, a past client of mine, is a good example of a Victim. By the time he began working with me, he was a mess. His wife was ready to leave him, his children worried about him, and he was even willing to commit bank fraud to win the approval of a crooked partner. Facing criminal charges, staggering financial losses, and an imploding marriage, Jim was finally willing to face the reality that he had been living his life as a Victim. As we worked together, he began to recognize that he repeatedly failed to confront inappropriate behavior when situations called for it. Instead, he would swallow his anger and intensify his attempts to prove his worth, devoting even more energy and resources to lost causes and uncaring people.
Perhaps you think and act like a Victim, full of self-doubt, not asserting yourself, and feeling powerless and out of control. Maybe you don’t think anything will ever change!
To see to what extent you act like a Victim, take our “How Are You Going Through Life?” questionnaire on my website, navigatingforsuccess.com. If you’re sick and tired of living life as a Victim and want to try something different, give Navigating For Success a try. Call me at 610.642.4873 x23 for an appointment.