Are You An Emotionally Intelligent Person?

Are You An Emotionally Intelligent Person?

Professor Tiger“You Deserve To Live An Extraordinary Life!”

You might be smart in terms of your mental intelligence, what we usually refer to as IQ. But when it comes to managing your own emotions, maintaining your motivation, or understanding what makes others tick, you might be an emotional dud… in other words, someone with a low Emotional Quotient (EQ). The good news is that it’s possible to increase your EQ!

Navigators strive to improve their EQ. They know career and interpersonal success relies considerably more on EQ than on IQ! They know the importance of the five skills of an emotionally intelligent person: Self-Awareness, Self-Control, Motivation, Perspective-Taking, and Problem Solving.

In today’s post, we will look at the first EQ skill, the one upon which the other four are built. Self-awareness involves knowing what you’re thinking and feeling, and being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses.

Consider this example. Karen, a client I am currently coaching, came into a session upset and agitated. She was distressed about something that happened a couple of nights ago with her husband. She wanted his attention and was distressed that he was spending too much time on the computer. She had become hurt, moody, and eventually resentful over his lack of caring behavior. She blamed him for being cold and self-involved. When I asked her if she had told him what she wanted or made a request for some attention, Karen responded, “He should know how I feel! If he really cared, he would have come over to me and showed some loving. I mean that’s what I would have done!”

Karen was behaving at a low EQ level. She was not aware that she was operating under an assumption: that he knew what she needed but was purposely ignoring her. She then jumped to the conclusion that he did not really love or care about her, resulting in personal hurt and resentment. She was not aware of her limited thinking and the predicament she created for herself.

What could she have done differently? If she were more Emotionally Intelligent, would she be thinking or feeling differently?

What do you think?

In the next post, I’ll share my thoughts on improving your self-awareness. Here’s to a more emotionally intelligent 2015!

If you would like to learn more about Navigating for Success and Living an Extraordinary Life, you can order my book “Navigating for Success: Passion, Goals and Action.”