09 Jan There is No Safety!
Moss Jackson, PhD
Psychologist and Success Coach
Recently, I had lunch with a new friend, Tom Judd, a brilliant contemporary artist with a keen wit and irascible sense of humor. I had intended to connect with him after seeing several of his works on Facebook several weeks ago. At the same time, he had heard about me through several people from Landmark Education and mutual friends. I had been debating whether or not to travel several thousand miles to deliver a talk on “Getting Your Brain To Fall In Love With You,” when he happened to call me and introduce himself. After a delightful exchange, we decided to meet for lunch, connect and explore our personal challenges and interests.
As we sat consuming our sandwiches, we discussed his work, mine and my wife’s, who also joined us for lunch. Much of the conversation centered around the rarity of creativity, as well as the contrast between two modes of living: living with uncertainty while exploring and risk-taking in our personal lives compared to the quest for certainty, always doing things right, fitting in, and avoiding shame. As we talked and exchanged comments around these two themes of human existence, Tom smiled and looked up a quote by Helen Keller about safety and security. This is what she had to say:
“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”
Things like painting, psychotherapy and coaching can be considered art forms; really anything that involves ongoing discovery, experimentation and learning. We think and reflect, hopefully considering different options and points of view, and then take some kind of action. These actions can be committing a brush to canvas, expressing a point of view, choosing a course of action, committing to a relationship and anything else where there is an element of “taking a chance.” In so doing, you may like or dislike the result. It’s a crap shoot, where, after some reflection you make a choice and see where it leads you. The result is just a consequence of the choice and, hopefully, you are open to learning something along the way. This is probably in line with what Helen Keller wrote.
Perhaps, living life at this level, that of risk, learning, experimentation and moving on, might be too uncomfortable. Perhaps some of you play at life too cautiously, playing it safe and just fitting in. And, while there may be an immediate payoff living this way, such as avoiding disapproval, getting agreement or feeling accepted, there may be an expensive price to be paid, such as knowing you are holding back, not trusting yourself or being terrified of someone disagreeing with you and not stumbling into a discovery that could radically alter your life course.
Helen Keller was born blind and deaf and had to stumble her way through life. It was only through the skillful coaching of her teacher, Ann Sullivan that Keller emerged into life as a power to be reckoned with. Regardless of her handicap, Helen Keller was a human being who truly walked the path of a Navigator, learning and experimenting as she went along.
Do you have some of that Helen Keller in you? Are you a risk-taker, willing to stumble along in search of being fully alive and vital? Are you willing to express what is true for you with no guarantee of being right or gaining approval? Perhaps aliveness and vitality are expressions of creativity, experimentation and risk taking! But there is a price to be paid if you choose this path. You have to let others disagree, maybe even thinking you are wrong, or worse, even a jerk. And so what if you are called a jerk, maybe you are. You are just being an authentic and real jerk and not a phony jerk!
So, I invite you to live life at risk and take chances. Stop playing it safe. Maybe, like Helen Keller said so many years ago, life is a daring adventure. In any case, I thoroughly enjoyed my lunch with my new friend, fellow navigator and risk taker, Tom Judd.
Maybe it is time to see how you are going through life, be it as a Navigator, Survivor or Victim. Go to www.navigatingforsuccess.com and take my free “Are You a Navigator Questionnaire” and check out your Life Style.
Or, if you like, check my new book out on Amazon, “I Didn’t Come To Say Goodbye.” Take a risk, be a Life Navigator. You might discover something important.