04 Jul HOW TO BOUNCE BACK OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Moss Jackson, PhD
Psychologist and Success Coach
Over the last few days, I have been experiencing some stress in my personal life over dealing with a slew of pressures that have piled up, along with noticing the increased stresses my clients have been experiencing. None of these phenomena are unusual, given the ups and downs of everyday life. Sometimes things are smooth and quiet and other times annoying and tense. That is the daily rhythm of life.
The key is to ride these ups and downs out with a sense of perspective and a reasonably quiet mind. In other words, if your stresses trigger an emotional hijack, accept the fact that you will intensify the difficult times and you will probably just have to wait until things calm down. If, however, you can recognize that your “tension temperature” may be rising, you can practice some self-regulation and relaxation techniques to break your stress cycle and reduce your emotional temperature. This is the art of “Bouncing Back.”
AN “OH SHIT” MOMENT
Let me give you an example. One of my trigger stresses is owing money. Sometimes, in a period of optimism and enthusiasm, I can easily overestimate my abundance and overspend. So, when I got my American Express and MasterCard Bills recently, I was startled by the amount I now had to pay. While I had enjoyed the original purchases and dopamine hit that resulted, I realized I did not have the resources to quickly pay the bills off. In fact, they will not be paid off for at least several months. “Oh Shit,” I heard my inner critic shout! I could feel the negative neurotransmitters and hormones begin to surge.
At the same time a number of my clients have been hit with their own stresses. Focusing on how both they and I have been responding to our respective situations I want to share the following observations:
BOUNCE BACK: REMINDERS AND STRATEGIES
- No one is immune to stress!
- No matter how good you think you are, shit happens!
- The key question is can you stay reasonably calm and focused in your upset and take useful action?
- Watch out for the useless guilt, shame and self recriminations that wait to beat you down.
- Appreciate that you are just human and not perfect.
- Recognize that all your problems are solvable but may require some patience.
- Remember a time where you felt powerful and safe. Linger in the memory and feel it. Breathe it in deeply. Take that energy and confidence and now look at the problem you are facing and take action. Breathe that pleasant experience into your body with slow, deep breaths.
- Practice a little bit of self compassion and forgiveness.
- Practice developing your “Window of Tolerance,” your capacity to stay present in what is going on and not to blow things out of proportion.
- Put your hands on your heart and stomach and say out loud while breathing deeply, “I deeply love and value myself unconditionally.” Repeat 20 times!!!
- Create an intention for the day such as “I intend to express my gratitudes for all my encounters today.” Follow through with your intention.
- At the end of the day, review your successes during the day.
- Say five things you are grateful for.
In sharing my personal experiences, I hope you can take some solace and value from what I am saying. I wish you well and may you keep your window of tolerance as wide open as possible.
Your Fellow Life Navigator Moss Jackson, www.navigatingforsuccess.com
If you want to learn more about Navigating success and the art of bouncing back, order my book Navigating For Success by requesting your copy at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Happy July Fourth!