16 Jul What’s Your Story: Stop Giving Energy To B—S—!
“You Deserve To Live An Extraordinary Life!”
You can’t live an extraordinary life by playing small! If you always play it safe, never risk failure and try to keep everything contained, in place, and neat… it will get pretty boring. Extraordinary living requires taking some risks, getting out of your comfort zone, and saying “No” to B—S—!
Are you a “What if…” thinker? Always worrying about how things will turn out or worrying about making the wrong decision? Do you do everything you can to avoid disapproval or criticism from others? Do negative doubting thoughts run through your mind? For example:
What if I fail?
What if I forget something in my talk?
What if someone thinks I am stupid?
What if I get shot down when I call for a date?
What if no one talks to me when I come into the room?
What if my sales client does not like my product?
Add any “What if…” question that holds you up in life, preventing you from sticking your neck out and taking a chance once in a while. Recently, I wrote a post on an old car that would always pull to the left, requiring me to constantly pull the steering wheel to the right in order to drive my battered old car straight down the road. Just as I needed to exert some energy to keep on course, you also need to exert energy to drive your life in the direction of the extraordinary. Your life will not, on its own, steer you in this direction. You have to make things happen. So what form does your “I can’t” or “It’s too hard” or “What if I fail…” take?
Don’t you have something bigger and better to do than spending your valuable time worrying about yourself? Isn’t there something important that you want to do that requires some courage and sense of adventure? Are you sick and tired of feeling disappointed with yourself whenever you back away from taking a risk, avoid taking action when you feel drawn to do so, or make excuses when you run away from a challenge?
If so, here are some things you can do to break away from the gravitational pull of fear, “What if…” and “I can’t.”
When you find yourself thinking “What if,” try responding, “Shut up!” Perhaps you’d like to insert an expletive of your choice, or alternatively, take a kinder approach – whatever will wake you up! If you are conditioned to heed that self-doubting and fearful aspect of yourself, you will need to find a way to shake things up, turn things upside down! Perhaps it’s to say, “C’mon, is that the best you can do? You can do better than that. Give me your best shot! Hit me on the chin! Just try to keep me down!” Or, “Aren’t you tired of being afraid? Life is too short! Let’s do this!”
By challenging your fear and catastrophic, worst-case-scenario thinking, you may discover something important. You may recognize some absurdity in your limited thinking, smile to yourself, and up the ante to a “Shut up!” Instead of a “What if…” you might say, “So what if I fail, at least I gave something a shot.” If you still think that worrying has some benefits for you, maybe you can create a Worry and Disaster Thinking Log where you record your petty worries on paper instead of storing them up in your head. Get out of your head, get out of your way, and get into action!
Another very effective thing you can do to thwart the tendency toward worry and dreadful thinking is to help someone else. By helping someone else handle a problem or take a risk, you are adding value to another’s life rather than staying attached to yourself. Get out of yourself and into the world! Participate! Give generously of yourself!
You could also be proactive… ask yourself a question like, “If I could do anything I wanted without fear of failing, what would it be?” While you may not be quite ready for the entire challenge, maybe you can begin by acting on one small part of it. You can then create some momentum once you are in action. It really is much easier to steer your car once it is in motion than when it is sitting dead still!
Say “Shut up!” to negative thinking, say “No” to B—S—!, and give living – extraordinary living – a shot!
If you want to learn more about living an extraordinary life, click here to order Moss Jackson’s book, “Navigating For Success,” and sign up for more blogs below.