Triggers – What Sets You Off?

Triggers – What Sets You Off?

Sometimes upsets roll off your back and sometimes they don’t.

It’s great when you go through the day as if you’re sprayed with an invisible shield of Teflon. Situational upsets and frustrations stay at a low impact level and you don’t take anything personally. Then there are those days where the Teflon disappears and the “slings and arrows” of everyday life hit deep and you get “triggered.”

Your partner can say something that not only annoys you, but also triggers an intense emotional reaction. These reactions usually center around emotional wounds like feeling neglected, devalued, betrayed, abandoned, and endangered. These feelings can lie deep within a person for years if not a lifetime. It does not matter that your partner didn’t intend to trigger such an intense reaction. You’ve been triggered and the emotional pain you’re feeling can be overwhelming. You can become emotionally flooded.

Successful partnerships know their triggers. Partners work hard to not let these strong emotional reactors invade and destroy their current relationship. They know it’s an overreaction and they choose to avoid reacting in a retaliatory style.

Bottom Line

  • A trigger is a powerful action that unleashes an emotional overreaction.
  • This overreaction involves deeper emotional wounds that occurred long before your partnership.
  • Don’t punish your partner for something someone else did to you.
  • Ask yourself, “where is this pain really coming from?”