Author: Dr. Moss Jackson

Who decides how largely you live? Have you taken responsibility for your life or have you forfeited control to a cost-collecting landlord? Are you paying for a life space to which you are inherently entitled? Here’s a TIP: Take command of your life! Become your own landlord...

Like an ability or a muscle, hearing your inner wisdom is strengthened by doing it.” -- Robbie Gass What’s important to you? What makes you tick? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? What triggers you? What are you passionate about? How do you impact others? Are you easily motivated and energized? Or are you often frustrated, annoyed, and disengaged? Are you doing work you like, or are you just going through the motions? As you go through the day, pay attention to your state of mind. Every once in a while, stop for a moment and ask yourself, “How am I doing here? Is there anything I need to get off my chest? Am I avoiding a particular conversation with someone? How do I want to come across to my partner and others?”

At any given moment partners have a lot to deal with: managing resources, staying focused on goals, getting along with each other, dealing with competing interests, handling upsets and simply getting the work done. There is a practice that partners can use to create a sense of continuity from week to week. It’s called “A Weekly Focus.” I learned about “A Weekly Focus” at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in the Colorado Rockies I noticed that the staff was extraordinarily cordial, personal, and crisp in service delivery throughout the resort. Intrigued, I asked the general manager how everyone was able to stay so focused and consistent. He suggested I attend their daily employee orientation meeting the next morning. That’s where I learned about the “Daily Focus Strategy”.

Turbulence is life force. It is opportunity. Let’s love turbulence and use it for a change.” --Ramsay Clark A partnership is a lot like marriage: the reasons two people stay together are usually not the reasons they got together in the first place. As life progresses, each person evolves and changes. Unless individuals adapt to the other person’s personal growth and development, the relationship can stagnate or even become antagonistic. Personal growth and development occur at several levels. On the individual level, a person may experience changes in attitude, interest, abilities, and goals over time. What might be personally intriguing at age 30 may be less motivating at age 50.

These are the types of questions that Navigating Partners ask:
  • Where are we going?
  • Why are we going there?
  • Why can you count on me to get us there?
  • What can I expect from you?
  • How can we harness and enhance out combined talents, passions, and skills?
  • What’s our plan of action?
  • What resources do we need?
  • How will we handle conflict and differences of opinion?
  • Where can we take charge, make things happen, and self-initiate?
For Navigators, “the buck stops here” and “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.” Navigators don’t get caught in the blame game: “We got screwed,” and “It’s not our fault.”

No one is immune. We all experience hardships. What’s the difference between those who deal with difficulties head on, learn, recover, and move on, and those who fall apart, become overwhelmed, and give up. In other words, Victim Partnership. And Navigator Partnership. What’a Victim Partnership? About 20-25% of Partnerships fit the description of Victim Partnerships. The Victim Partnership Beliefs:

My six-year-old grandchild, Jess, came home from school one day. I was writing at the time and was in the process of pouring myself a glass of wine. As conversation swirled around me, I accidentally knocked the glass over. Wine spilled across the table and I gave out some annoyed comments. Jess came over; saw the red wine inch its way toward the table’s edge. He simply smiled, and said something he had learned in school. “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.”

Sometimes upsets roll off your back and sometimes they don’t. It’s great when you go through the day as if you’re sprayed with an invisible shield of Teflon. Situational upsets and frustrations stay at a low impact level and you don’t take anything personally. Then there are those days where the Teflon disappears and the “slings and arrows” of everyday life hit deep and you get “triggered.”